Strangely less chocolate-y than Quake’s Red Cream. Bland, dulled out buttery mocha mouthfeel undone by watered down vanilla-maple vapidity. Brewery defunct: 2003. Picture courtesy of www.beerlabels.com

Aromatic green apple tartness and mouth-puckering citric souring provide eye-squinting bitterness, leading to heartburn-inducing vinous acidity. Intrusive carbolic fluff overwhelms miniscule butterscotch malt creaminess. Lacking necessary cereal-grained sweetness to counter dismal one-dimensional yellow-fruited sourness. Too similar to Big Hole’s lackluster Pale Ale.

Non-specific lactose cream ale lost in redundant diacetyl mediocrity. Hardly any differentiation from Quake’s two similar brews. Brewery defunct: 2003.

Warbly copper-hued cream ale with ample sweet raspberry nose and mouthfeel done in by dour phenol creaming at shaky barley-wheat backend. Chewy caramel malt overtones are welcome, but mild astringency prohibits raspberry flux at incomplete finish. Nevertheless, well fermented milky yeast thickness provides solid depth.

Belly-bloating stout-like milk chocolate creaminess, lackluster barley roast, molasses hints, and ester-y aroma intruded by acidic carbonation. Relegated to extremely filling, albeit unassuming, 8.2% alcohol-stricken rue. Brewery defunct: 2003.

Illuminating honeyed orange-lemon essence and sweet vanilla malting give tangy light-bodied thirst quencher an effervescent Orange Crush soda, sherbet, or creamsickle appeal. Seltzer fizz hides faint peach-grapefruit-ginger tones. A better ‘malternative.’

Despite bubbly effervescence, citrus-tinged spiciness, creamy malt elegance, and pleasant grain finish, pale reddish-hued ale remains unassuming. Easy to drink, but in need of extra umphh! Beer’s been retired since ’08.