Acrid ‘all-malt lager’ retains off-putting glutinous wheat souring and parched maize astringency. Offensive plastic chemical waft further damages doughy drear, floral lemon-peach aridity, and moldy grass-hay recess. Restrictive malt profile seems conflictive.

Impossibly pale corn-based lo-cal derivative matches astringent straw wheat dryness to wafting barnyard-hay-straw component and sharply carbolic hop fizz. Laid-back grapefruit scamper barely registers.

Very similar to Michelob Premium, but with bleached out ashy dusting overriding heavier versions’ Scotch malt dryness. Thankfully, artificial ‘lite’ ingredients seem undetectable while remaining less filling and more distinct than Bud Lite, for sure. Sweetness is barley-based rather than corn sugar-based like Budweiser.

Lighter, less obtrusively sour, low carbohydrate version of Rolling Rock Lager counters soft hop fizz with mildly skunked malts to cheap wheat finish. Not as dismal as clear pale-toned body suggests.

Ridiculous low-carb craze brought forth this sharply crisp fizz water mediocrity that betters competing Michelob Ultra. But dry wheat shard, faded Scotch twang, and meagerly citric ping bereft of malt-yeast resolve.

Steeltown’s I.C. light beer gets South of the Border “twist” from Acapulco lime, sustaining soft hop fizz, light banana hint, and funky grain mesh.

Clear gold foil hue extremely pale for low carbohydrate alternative thankfully bereft of nasty ‘lite’ beer preservatives. Fizzy flow lacks hop, barley, or yeast concentration, as lime-y seltzer water finish turns cardboard thin before dropping off precipitously.

Nebulous straw-hued light pilsner not as astringently corn-liquored as atrocious stateside foe, Iron City Light. Sugary malts, oily hops, and vegetal fringe cheapen idle popcorn finish.

Unique narrow-necked octagon-edged bottle is unfortunately Afanasy’s most interesting quality. Mellow clear golden light body cheapens aromatic cotton candy wisp and frail butterscotch tongue by limiting grain depth. However, juicy orange-tangerine spurt, nice carbonation, and clean finish save this from being inferior.

Soapy, cloying, watery South American with phenol lemon spritz, moderate corn-flaked cereal-grained base, and pungently soured vegetal reminder. Caramel, butterscotch, and almond undertones paint sharp corners, saving otherwise weak brew from abyss.

White bread nose, fizzy hop spritz, and warming Scotch malt mouthfeel pervade trendy low-carb lightweight, retaining decent body to salt watered bottom.

Foul cabbage-y chemical waft emanates from flaccid yellow-bellied Chelada-style ‘malternative.’ Originally mistook name as ‘Chili’ since green label and bottle and Mexican recipe fooled me. But sugared lime and salt provide cola-like 7-Up, Mountain Dew, and Fresca flavoring. Slick hop dryness compensates artificial sweetener.