Bleary apricot-desiccated orange-rotted astringency and gluten-free-like sorghum pasting bring musty acridity to fizzy Seltzer-watered 120-calorie moderation. Thin rice cake sweetness and mild Scotch blotch linger at pallid dry-hopped finish.

Not far removed from styptic herb-embittered dry-grained 80 Shilling Scottish Ale or bland baquette-like Copper Ale, this medium-bodied pilsner-lager may be somewhat robust, but cardboard-like rye-breaded pungency, corn-husked brown rice musk and dirty vegetal earthiness skulk subsidiary sulfuric skunking. Desalinated tap water brings slight saltine hint. Richer and headier than Aruba brewery’s ‘Limited Brew’ as well as most lighter-bodied Caribbean beers, but dirtily vegetal and ultimately less rewarding.

Offbeat Asian-styled straw-hued moderate-bodied light lager places interesting herbal twist above rice-grained backdrop. Lemon-honeyed crystal malting and palm-sugared ginseng-guarana-ginger-eucalyptus-sage dusting rise above bark-dried sodium salting.

Astringent citric-hopped phenol-spiced straw-hued light lager gets watery fast. Diluted candy-soured orange rind and lemon peel bittering tops sullen grain tepidity and corn-oiled gloom. Parched lime-like acidity and skunked vegetal waft overwhelm frail finish.

Washed-out aluminum-hued dry-bodied lightweight ruined by tinny corn-oiled rice wine souring and nasty cider-y finish; leaving tinny aftertaste. Nasty stuff.

Anyone for salted pretzels or buttery popcorn? This light-bodied lager suffers from doughy nothingness and astringent corn-maize nature. Faintest butterscotch-marzipan flicker saves lightly toasted malt finish. Contract brewed for Maryland’s Hook & Ladder.

Fizzy platinum blonde has bland character at 125 calories. Grassy maize-straw wheat astringency hampers bruised lemon, green apple, and unripe peach tartness to cardboard-y white bread spine. Fleeting buttery corn-oiled dankness turns cloy. Budweiser-owned Red Hook became a formulaic brewery way before these ’09 soft-bodies.

Impossibly pale-toned lightweight with sugared rice-corn sweetness wracked by skunked cabbage nosing and compost-addled sorghum funk still betters chemically altered ‘lite’ macrobrews.

Palest straw-hued 95-calorie softie with dry popcorn-maize acridity maintains sugar-fizzed rice cake sweetness that betters most boring chemically augmented light beers.

Acrid ‘all-malt lager’ retains off-putting glutinous wheat souring and parched maize astringency. Offensive plastic chemical waft further damages doughy drear, floral lemon-peach aridity, and moldy grass-hay recess. Restrictive malt profile seems conflictive.

Impossibly pale corn-based lo-cal derivative matches astringent straw wheat dryness to wafting barnyard-hay-straw component and sharply carbolic hop fizz. Laid-back grapefruit scamper barely registers.