Slick blood orange tang and mild hemp-oiled hop resin scrape surface of undecided ginger ale-derived malt liquor. Soda-like hard seltzer fizzing snaps back at vodka-licked Orange Fanta midst of hemp-seeded, flat-headed, aluminum-cleared derivation.
Tag Archives: malt liquor
FOUNDERS DKML IMPERIAL MALT LIQUOR AGED IN BOURBON BARRELS
On tap at Growler & Gill, relaxing bourbon-barreled malt liquor contrasts maple-sugared corn sweetness against oaken vanilla-tinged whiskey dryness. Caramelized bourbon continuance gains firm footing as mild brandy snip sweetens the back end.
GROLSCH KANON
Tepid clear-yellowed malt liquor (despite lofty 11.6% ABV) is poor canned version of a strong pale lager. Cloyingly corn sugared alcohol solvency depletes Band-aid astringency, Scotch-licked crystal malting and sweet floral perfumed waft. Use as rubbing alcohol.
MILLER FORTUNE
Black-bottled straw-cleared lager considered a malt liquor due to its sneaky 6.9% alcohol astringency, slick pale malting and syrupy corn sugaring. Acrid lemony hop spritz and salty snip contrast murky caramel sweetness. Betters most malt liquors, for sure.
(SOLAN) OLD MONK 10000 SUPER BEER
Disgusting straw pale malt liquor places sour yeast pungency above cloying corn-sugared malts, spoiled lemon skunking and acrid maize-oiled sinew. Buttery dimethyl sulfide nastiness infects cabbage-smeared cat urine follow-up and cheap vodka reminder. Offensive mass produced India brew gains nasty cider-soured burnt rubber splotch at scabrous finish.
HAFFENREFFER PRIVATE STOCK MALT LIQUOR
Muted sweet malt aroma, soft-bodied watery consistency, and corn sugar dalliance counter tamped down hop frolic to salted butter finish. Better than all urban-marketed malt liquors.
(HEILEMAN) MICKEY’S FINE MALT LIQUOR
From the makers of Old Style, one of Chicago’s best selling beers (advertised during White Sox and Cubs games). In 22-ounce bottle, this clear golden malt liquor suffers from flat palate, though bread-like yeast and creamy sweetness provide mellow flow. Crisper water boosts it above Bud and Coors.
STEEL RESERVE LAGER
8.1% alcohol burn may put wide-mouth bottled billowy-headed pale lager in oblivious malt liquor category for U.S. consumption. Watery, soft, and soapy with zesty hop flow and sweet malt backdrop obstructed by cloy yeast stickiness. This is some ugly stuff. Swish around cheeks for bland mouthwash appeal.
(HEILEMAN) ST. IDES MALT LIQOUR
Unsettling corn syrup mouthfeel and sour candy follow-up disdainfully unappetizing to ponderous flat finish. Lay off, homeboys.
TEQUIZA MALT LIQUOR
Lime aroma and essence of tequila on first sip. Then, unbalanced blue agave nectar and awkward yeast crud lead to cloy 7-Up cheapness, leaving this “alco-pop” closer to ill-advised wine cooler than low level herbal beer. Disgusting.
(IRON CITY) EAGLE MALT LIQUOR
Palest yellow pearl-headed crud with dried maize waft suffers from slick corn syrup flow, cloy malt stickiness, and dismal finish. Slim barley-wheat base, mild carbolic hops, and sour candy whim don’t suffice.
ZIMA MALT LIQUOR
Disgustingly gross faux-wine cooler with beleaguered lemon-limed 7-Up spritz. Who buys this rueful drool? Trendy ’90s-bound seltzer-spumed scum suckers. ‘Zumthing Ztupid.’