Tame sugar malt inertia and sweetened barley oats signify front end of mild ale. Delicate butterscotch-kissed finish retains functional creamy fizz.

Not as alcohol-laden as cheaper urban marketed mass produced malt liquors. Instead, unassuming translucent straw-hued medium body brings creamy butterscotch twist to corn sugar malting and lime-y hop-blotched raisin-tangerine prickle. Sweet barley-wheat base upholds citric-hazed horizon.

Impressive 8.5-ounce malt liquor brewed with peat-smoked malts gains lingering creamy succulence as buttery Scotch whiskey richness and silky yeast smoothness inform mellow spiced-hop finish. Novices will find sweet barley flow appetizing while seasoned pros will enjoy finely detailed contour of this peaceful easy comforter.

Cheap straw-hued 7% alcohol burn coarsens predictable corn-sugared cereal grain sweetness. Suggestive whiskey clip tingles fizzy hop zip to salty bottom. More like a stingy mule than the regal horse pictured on red-white label.

Stolid pale body brings wearisome malt-soured rancidity, glutinous rice-wheat murk, corn-oiled ethanol flow and moldy green grape esters to moderated blunt hop bitterness. Dry rice-sugared lemon spritz stays distant and mild whiskeyed barley roast get pasty at the finish. Beware: Canadian version really stinks up the joint.

From the makers of Old Style, one of Chicago’s best selling beers (advertised during White Sox and Cubs games). In 22-ounce bottle, this clear golden malt liquor suffers from flat palate, though bread-like yeast and creamy sweetness provide mellow flow. Crisper water boosts it above Bud and Coors.

8.1% alcohol burn may put wide-mouth bottled billowy-headed pale lager in oblivious malt liquor category for U.S. consumption. Watery, soft, and soapy with zesty hop flow and sweet malt backdrop obstructed by cloy yeast stickiness. This is some ugly stuff. Swish around cheeks for bland mouthwash appeal.

Unsettling corn syrup mouthfeel and sour candy follow-up disdainfully unappetizing to ponderous flat finish. Lay off, homeboys.

Lime aroma and essence of tequila on first sip. Then, unbalanced blue agave nectar and awkward yeast crud lead to cloy 7-Up cheapness, leaving this “alco-pop” closer to ill-advised wine cooler than low level herbal beer. Disgusting.

Palest yellow pearl-headed crud with dried maize waft suffers from slick corn syrup flow, cloy malt stickiness, and dismal finish. Slim barley-wheat base, mild carbolic hops, and sour candy whim don’t suffice.

Disgustingly gross faux-wine cooler with beleaguered lemon-limed 7-Up spritz. Who buys this rueful drool?  Trendy ’90s-bound seltzer-spumed scum suckers. ‘Zumthing Ztupid.’

Canadian version of Carlsberg strong lager found on Montreal trip ’06. Cloy glutenous malting and phenol hop bittering slacken crisp water briskness. Rugged corn-starched resolve and musty grained finish decrease value further. Pungent alcohol aftertaste lacks fortitude.