Vital statistics: 8% alcohol in 32 ounce can for 99 cents. One-dimensional cloying corn malts and clinging Brussels lace never dissipate as musty barley-wheat rounds out dire diacetyl bottom. Compares favorably to France’s feeble Fritz Brau.

Listless lemon-dried pearl-headed clear-yellowed African brew retains soft-grained moderate strength and mildewed bitter resolve emulating German-styled lager, but weak-bodied nature and unassuming alcohol-saturated finish lessen its value.

Grainy water-based simplicity sweetened by slovenly sugared corn malts. Faint hops don’t provide enough bitterness to dull finish. Listless blue collar fodder somehow better under Molson banner. Maybe it’s the water source.

Hefty 7.3% alcohol content negatively affects musty barley aroma, buttery Scotch mouthfeel, sticky sugar malt persistence and sweet cherry backdrop. Worse, delicate hop-backed diacetyl finish lacks pizzazz. Dry fruit jag and creamed corn respite cannot overcome soapy flow.

Soft white-headed clear-toned dry-bodied musty-hopped non-alcoholic ‘malt beverage’ has bright, sunny disposition and ultra light resolution. Spry hop perk disguises lack of grain bite and true grit, yet crystal water crispness, polite bitterness, and lemon freshness appeals to tolerant lightweights.