Inexpressive clear golden smoothie stays bland as maize-fronted sugar-watered flow barely registers. Miserly lemony grapefruit speckle never rises above carbolic fizz, staying plain without being either bitter or sweet.

Seltzer-like clear-yellowed white-headed Peruvian with subtly aromatic corn-sugared crystal malting and propulsive lemony hop zip sinks to oblivion as straw wheat backend dries out. Sourdough challah breading and maple-sapped black licorice taunt save it from being completely ordinary. Too cloy and less soothing than most South of the Border lagers.

Though retaining more body than most pale lagers, lackluster Aussie’s fizzy corn sugar flow and buttery cereal grain complacency negatively affect soapy finish. Washed out caramel malts sink below diacetyl slurp.

Strident soft-watered barley tone and lightened corn astringency gently sway tangy lemon-kissed midst, but leafy grassy-hopped vegetal finish weakens. Overall, musty Czech lager lacks resilience. No longer brewed as of 2006.

Decent gold-labeled straw-hued lager submits musty orange-oiled Scotch malting and cereal-grained cornmeal sweetness to sharp peppery-hopped coarseness. Pastry cake, vanilla wafer, butterscotch and butternut illusions sit back. Simple, straightforward brew for North of the Border lunkheads on salmon fishing trips.

Sharp musty-scented pale-bodied artesian lager retains crisp barley-hopped sweetness, grassy bottom, and watery simplicity, but generic soapy finish lowers rating to half of its Spanish ‘Five Star’ moniker.

Strong golden-hazed bitter gathers Scotch malt insistence, nutty ascension, and buttery texture, despite finishing a bit watery. Slight mocha tinge hidden below stabilized hop salience.

Another lively carbonated citric-soured yeast-stenched Dutch brew. Sweet vanilla creaming juxtaposes supple hop bitterness at midst. Spritzy orange peel detected at earthen nut finish. Too dank and soapy to overtake better local competition.

Earthen hop aroma, soft water flow, and dank barley-grained mesh lead to soapy finish. Happily, moderate-bodied frivolity lacks the sickly cloy sweetness of American counterparts such as Miller Genuine Draft or Budweiser.

Not as rich and robust as brewers’ better stuff, yet efficient in its straightforward approach. Mild citric hop bitterness and subtle toasted grain persistence appealingly simplistic. Doughy yeast median decorates carbolic fizz, but the difference between Sam Smith’s ‘organic’ lager and its ‘pure brewed’ lager seems inconsequential.

Dank golden-hued Dortmunder-styled pale lager suffers from fizzy diacetyl flow and ill-defined lemon-bruised peach-banana sourness compromising dry wheat backbone to piquant honeyed finish.

Pee-yellow billowy-headed lightweight Slovenian smells like pizza and garnishes a slight metallic spiciness at the back of the tongue. Bleary corn-sugared malt sweetness lingers ’til softly hopped dirty grain finish gets watery.