Stale-breaded corn-soured billowy-headed moderation was one of the first imports offered to American market during early ’70s. Burnt coffee dryness and ripe grape undertones disappear too far in front of disturbing grassy-hopped vegetal finish for any maintained dignity.

Clear golden-hued white-headed green-bottled lager lacks distinction despite boasting influence of ten international brewmasters’ strange affinity towards exploiting Heineken-Beck’s sour malted grain sharpness. Sunny hop briskness and bread-y yeast pungency remain steadfast, but fizzy seltzer flow whimpers to mild bitter finish.

Innocuous clear golden light body maintains unspecific citric whiff to match fizzy lemony sugar zip. Dull bread-y bottom drops out.

Skanky malt sourness, dismal hop bottom, and steely metallic tinge ruin slightly salted fizzy frontage and vague corn nuance of trashy macrobrew.

Palest yellow whitest-headed golden lager rightfully popularized by topless models hidden beneath peel off label rather than boring liquid inside. Faded peach-grapefruit dryness layers bland white bread base of negligible session beer. Brewery defunct: 2009.

Blending agave, citrus, and undefined spices, clear-bottled lime-scented malt-lacquered brew gets disturbingly cloy after ill-advised sour-candied fruit tartness goes south. Only better than Zima, if that’s progress. The beer equivalent of a lame wine cooler.

Apparently Bacardi (the rum co.) brought this Cuban recipe (pronounced ah-tway) to America for the masses. Orange-yellow hue, caramel-malt aroma, and creamy up-front sweetness settle into syrupy 5.5% alcohol fueled dud. Much too processed for serious consumption, but in line with sweet barley-based Caribbean’s such as Red Stripe and Carib Pilsner.

Translucent ivory-yellowed ‘premium pilsner’ brings tart lemon spritz, unleavened bread musk, and grassy hop pitch to spotty dry maize finish redolent of Corona with lime slice. Just a hair less inspired than Kaiser’s mediocre A Marca Bavaria.

Ephemeral bomber-bottled Canadian lager stays smooth and watery beneath its hop-topped barley-roasted essence. A hint of agave puts it South of the Border until sticky caramel malts overtake pallid finish.

In a sea of mass produced Molson beer and ale styles, this bland Seltzer-fizzed pale lager is truly indistinguishable. Murky hop musk, toned down grain pungency and scant perfumed citrus slurp lead to soapy corn sugar finish (with honeyed biscuit bottom). Gets metallic as bottle drains.

Brewed with highly fermented yeast, bubble-headed musty-scented pale-toned Asian retains dank grain malting, soft hop fizz, and buttery rice nicety. Barley sweetness smoothed out by dry watery finish. Though undeniably relaxing, experienced drinkers will be left craving for more flavor and body consistency.

Classic macrobrewed bottled-canned beer saturated Wisconsin and Illinois market during the Seventies. Brassy barleycorn and lackadaisical dry hops encounter nasty citrus funk before unripe peach fizz halfway redeems it. Tinny cerel-grained cornmeal finish gets slushy. Still betters Coors, Bud, and Miller.