Crisply sessionable clear-yellowed light body layers salted lemon zesting atop buttered Italian breading grazing soft barley-maize-rice bed. Brisk carbolic nature from spritzy citrus spicing gains gentle herbal hop musk.

Slickly glutinous pale-strawed  fodder (reticently contract brewed by Genesee’s sponsor) promises the goldmine but gives us the shaft. Stale whiskey entry depleted by nasty corn-sugared malt liquoring and oily-hopped diacetyl buttering. Skunky cat urine salting further cheapens ruggedly coarse $2.99 per 6-pack dreck.

Truly middle-of-the-road canned pale body merges sour Kolsch fruiting with toasted lager crisping. Tart orange oiling, parched lemondrop-candied pucker and dry cherrywood reminder waver through sedate grassy-hopped prickle as well as distant corn-sugared Vienna malting. Musky sourdough breading envelops honeyed biscuit wheat spine. Tertiary banana, apple and grape illusions need ripening.

On tap at Pocono’s Log Cabin Bar, approachable German-styled session beer brings orange-nipped lemon spritz to grassy Hallertau-hopped bittering. Buttery crystal malt base softly underlines citric crispness. In the bottle, thin pilsner-malted German-styled pale lager lacks pizzazz. Astringent raw-honeyed sinew and phenol hop bittering pick up rancid buttery notion. Slurry citric-quince waver buried beneath unfulfilled flavor profile.

On tap at Mason Jar, creamy crystal malt eloquence pervades soft-toned mineral graining and subtle grassy-hopped bittering of soothing moderation. Corn sugared citric easement receives salted buttering. Don’t expect as much from lesser red bottled or canned version.

Crisply light-bodied with minimal grain-toasted hop roast, stable French bread-crusted affinity and salty lemon lime brining. Fizzy phenol astringency kept down. Goes well with cheap snacks on a sweltering sunny afternoon.

Perfectly obvious and totally easygoing fresh-watered pale lager now brewed by macro kings, Anheuser-Busch (but originating in Canada), crystallizes its tingly grassy-hopped spicing with wheat-flaked cereal grains and caramelized crystal malts. A slight metallic tinge edges forth by the fragile sweet-buttered finish.

Vapid dry-hopped Bavarian-styled pale lager lacks prevailing flavor profile. Instead, washed-out citric tartness ekes out space beside faded green grape esters, diluted Granny Smith apple pucker, and distant grapefruit dab. Earthen vegetal dulling and astringent honeyed malting pick up minor dishwater solvency.

Slick middle-of-the-road German-styled pale lager seemingly retains English Special Bitter or ‘pub’ ale attributes such as caramelized rye-breaded malting, cellar-like fungi waft and mild woody hop bittering. Withered floral-spiced orange-apricot-grapefruit snip and insufficient pastry-caked spicing (nutmeg-coriander) never approach surface of short-headed amber-hued moderation.

Pleasant light-bodied amber-yellowed pale lager lacks body and depth. Crisp citric-hopped pep and sharp lemony seltzer fizzing counter spicy Belgian-styled yeast funk. Carbolic overload disguises apricot-dried crystal malting, biscuit-y barley-hopped pungency, and vegetal tinge to faltering toasted white bread spine, finishing watery and indecisive.

Sweet honey-nut roasted Vienna malting and multi-grained whole-wheat breading overpower soured sorghum snip of surprisingly dark amber lager. Distant flavor profile fades fast, leaving barren nut-bread finish exposed.

Very little is known about obsolete whiskey-wafted Caribbean Island-acquired German brew. Aged seven years in clear-toned red-labeled 12-ounce bottle, uncommon Bavarian pilsner-lager transcends typical stylistic boundaries a bit with its vintage Scotch Ale twist and sneaky alcohol whir. Mild and rounded vermouth-dried Chardonnay buttering lingers softly to caramelized fig-sugared apple-candied apricot-nectar whim. Try in lieu of dessert wine, if you can find ‘em anywhere.